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whats wrong with me? (Sunday, May 15, 2005 / 11:43 PM)

Dear diary,

I am tired, physically tired i mean because i recieved a stupid call from my mom at around 10 something and i was still sound asleep at that point of time alright but surprisingly i did not flare up at my mom for calling so early. I am sooo restless now...i don't have enough energy to jump and run about as i skipped my lunch today, i only ate a cup of strawberry yogurt, its sooo damn yummilicious!!! * smack my lips* Boy, i can't wait to watch house of wax!!! At first i was still doubtful of this movie because most people who watched it commented that it's a gross movie whereby it will make you wanna puke, some people even left after watching some parts of da movie. Now i am wondering if i am able to stay throughout da whole movie without wanting to vomit...i guess it's hard to for me =p Chatted with faizal yesterday in msn and he suggestd a meet up session to do some catching up, sounds good to me since he is such a joker who never fails to make me laugh like a maddie =) My life so far has been smooth sailing..at least that is howi feels, i am not trying to say i am a lucky or blissful girl so don't get me wrong. I am just thinking if i ever suffers from any setback, will i be able to take things in my stride? Will i be able to handle it with a positive mindset? Will i still be da same old cheerful huixin? Will i? Seriously i don't know, maybe i will change or i might even become more depressed and eventually turns into a pessimistic girl. I won't want that to happen but what can i do when reality hits me hard? Life is a bitch and you have got to admit that, Life is never smooth sailing, i always only prepared for da worst of all da exams but not reality. No matter how well prepared i think i am, it's still da same, i will never be able to handle da reality well, maybe i am still living in my fairytale life. I am 18 this year and i suppose it's time for me to be more sensible, i have to start learning things like how to face da reality..how to handle all da problems i might be facing in da near future. I thought i have grown up but hell no! I am still soo insensible -.-" when will i ever grown up??? *wondering*
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