Dear diary,

There are times when you just wants to shout out all kinds of vulgarities and right now i just wanna shout one and that is FUCK! Argh! Today's netball training was damn fucked up due to my stupid, idiotic, unbelieveable fucked-up attitude and now i've lost all the motivation to compete tml, all thanks to my attitude ya? -.-" This was what happened today, we had our training over at Bishan Stadium, 4 guys [ Lc, Leon, Joey, Junwei] came along to show us support, Lc knows exactly how netball is being played thus we made him as our captain. While playing, Lc will points out our mistake, when he started to point out my mistake for da 2nd time, i got irritated & i flared up at him, i shouted at him then he asked me why i was so du lan in a friendly manner yet i continue to shout at him by saying "cos i am just du lan la!" He walked away without saying anything anymore, damn! I was unbelieveably rude, no doubts about it but at that moment i did not bothered to care too much, fuck, i really lost all the movtivation, guess tml my team mates will be able to see me just standing down there waiting for the ball to comes to me -.-" Why am i behaving that way? so rude...so inconsiderate...so nasty -.-" BUT i did send them a msg just now to apologise for everything, Really regret to shout at LC, regret to show the rest my fucked up attitude, i don't think i'm fit to be a shooter but i can't find a reserve for my position thus i'm responsible to go down for the competition tml. I even did some self-reflection on my behaviour just now but i did not think much so maybe that's not a self-reflection afterall but i'm glad to say that i'm one who will apologise when i'm in da wrong =)