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you're not mine =( (Friday, July 01, 2005 / 12:45 AM)

Dear diary,

I'm not a happy girl today, infact i'm being very upset over someone, haix, obviously it's a guy right? I don't know how to explain the whole thing, it's like he's showing me signs, he even treats me differently from other girls, maybe i am reading too much into this but even my friends also feel the same way alright -.-" He told me before that no, he'll only treat his ex as a friend only, that's why i allow myself to have some good feelings towards him but i never expects this, you may think it's silly, you may even think i'm being stupid here but hey! You can't control your feelings ok, no one can do that, you can only choose not to accept the truth and that's it. I hate to be feeling this way, i hate to be like a fool, i hate it when you said i'm a nice gal, i hate it when you told me if there isn't any girl who u likes right now you'll fall for me, i hate myself for being this way & i simply just hate it all as to me,it's all bullshit! I have comes to realise that i've got this tendency to eat whenever i am upset >.<"

Enuff said of the above, let me tell you something good! =p BUT promise me you won't laugh ur head off when you know what it's all about can? Doubt anyone of you can do that, anyway anyway anyway, it's nothing GREAT but you guys just won't be able to believe that i joined it. ITE have got this Mr/Miss ITE contest going on, it's a pagent & i was being approached, actually you can get the form from them and just signed up, i wasn't that enthu in joining it in the first place but after hearing them saying some stuff such as inviting a hongkonger from some modelling company or what-so-ever, i was tempted. They said even if you did not win the competition, the hongkong company might approach you & if they are interested in you, they might even do a portfolio for you so when i heard this, i was kinda like 'wow' cos in order to make a portfolio, you need about 300++ bucks but now this is completely free! Furthermore you get to go overseas for modelling jobs if you're chosen, this definitely sounds like a golden opportunity for me to step into the modelling world =) However i don't think i am able to get through the first round as i tends to get all jittery when i needs to go for a interview!!! argh, we gotta meet the press & media if there's any official functions but that's provided only when we are chosen to be the finalists. Shall stop here, it's time for me to be alone for some while...
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