(Saturday, September 26, 2009 / 9:56 AM)
i'm completely lost.
why am i facing the problem now instead?
everything seems to be in a question mark.
and definitely no one's to be blame for this outcome, at least not totally.
i always like to prepare for my future though no one can predict it.
however having a rough image of it gives me the confidence to move ahead.
without even just a rough idea made me stop in my tracks to ponder.
Disappointment starts to creep in when i know i'm not confident enough to carry on,
it's more than disappointment.
in the past i strongly believe i'm able to stick till the end but it seems otherwise.
upon hearing the word i know it's definitely more than disappointment,
it's rather hopeless.
i'm apologetic for being the nasty/lousy one
but trust me,
it's never easy.
i'll learn to change, back to my old self.
it's gonna take me quite a long time to do so,
it's either that or i can have myself feeling hopeless everytime.
which i think, it's not a very wise decision
hence i shall just stick to the former.
besides,
i'm gonna open up the walkway to my heart
in order for it not to suffocate.
through this period of time,
i don't know how am i going to push myself
but whatever it is, i do not have much choice either, do i?
